Singing the “Everything is Going Fine Blues.”

At first, my visits to my aunt Martha were going “Fine.”
“How are you?” she would ask, “Fine,” I would answer.
How are the children? “Fine.” How’s your work? “Fine.”
After about five more “Fines,” I would begin to feel uncomfortable, start to look at my watch, and wonder if I had been there long enough? Could I leave now without hurting her feelings and still look good to myself and the nursing facility staff?
I will be the first to admit that I was not being the best conversationalist, but after visiting her week after week, there really wasn’t much to say that was new and different, let alone exciting to relate.
The bottom line was that I was fine, she was not, but we really couldn’t talk about THAT for too long. either.
So, with not much either of us could do and we settled for silence, often a shorter visit, and or being entertained by whoever was on the dementia unit that day to help us all pass the time.
It was from my experiences with my aunt Martha and my work as a geriatric chaplain and professional counselor that led to my designing and publishing the Living Legacy LifeBook ( to help to help elders and their children with the “Everything is Going Fine Blues.”

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